Seriously, what’s up with yoga pictures these days?

Man, those people totally stole my idea for my next yoga photo shoot.
I don’t know a general consensus or anything, but most of the yoga teachers I know don’t typically practice in their bedroom, boyfriend still sleeping in bed feet away, in their underwear:
In real life, he wakes up and says, “You’re being really loud, can’t you do that somewhere else?”
I hate to burst your bubble, guys that take these pictures, but a real yoga practice almost never looks like this:
A wet t-shirt?*
Um….
Most days I practice here, in my dining room:
Yes, with that man in the window on two separate days last week- he was painting the house. Hey, sometimes practicing at home is that way.
Sexy
Hey, we are all a little bit vain. But sometimes, you can just tell someone is taking a picture in a yoga pose because doing anything else in so little clothing would be like wearing a shirt that says “Check me out-I’m soooo sexy!”
Oooh, my bandhas!
Also, whatever happened to Right Said Fred? And it looks like guy on right is wearing a unitard, so that is awesome.
Justice Stewart. How’d you like to see this guy in a sexy yoga pose?
And, (feminist hat time) isn’t it weird how this applies almost exclusively to girls?
Seriously?
What’s the sanskrit name for this asana?
The above are two of thousands of similar results for the search terms “sexy yoga.” I had to look really hard on the internet to find sexy yoga pictures of dudes:
Karandavasana. It’s hard.
Point being, a picture like the one above would be way cooler than one featuring a smoldering look and a hot bod prominently displayed. If you’re considering taking sexy pics, just know that you might have some trouble convincing students that yoga is all about inner beauty. On the plus side, lots of people will “like” your pictures on Facebook.
Naked
For some reason, naked pictures seem less vain than sexily posed ones:
Yeah, that picture exists.
It’s probably because with sexyface/lingerie/high heels, it’s at least suggested that you might really practice like that. Doing yoga naked is one of those things that sounds liberating and cool until you actually try it.
Yoginidrasana is one of many poses that might become more unpleasant. Pic from ibelieveinhumans.com.
The key to naked is to make it tasteful.
Wear Sox!
If you go this route, be prepared for people to get all outraged. But that will be tempered by the people who tell you things like this: Thank You for being real and taking off all your clothes, not just some. Naked is what the people taking sexy pictures are suggesting but not ballsy enough to actually do.
Soulful
Striving for that serious, soulful yoga face?
That yoga face is so hot right now.
There’s this great short story where the narrator talks about meditating: basically, that he can only do it when someone is watching.** These pictures are like that:

One of my favorite parts about teaching yoga is seeing people’s faces towards the end of class right before savasana: when they’re all sweaty and beatific, like little kids lining up to go back to class after recess. Hey students- lots of you probably think you look like that girl above. Actually, most of you are smiling. It’s awesome.
When most people make “meditating” faces on purpose, they just look like douchebags:
This guy is probably perfectly nice.
Circus Act
By “circus,” I just mean really hard poses. Hey, wouldn’t you want to take a picture if you could do this, usually after years of practicing it?
Kino MacGregor.
When other yoga people see this kind of thing, we appreciate the amount of time and effort dedicated to something so lovely. After all, it’s by learning the tricks that you figure out how little being able to do them actually matters. You can have an awesome handstand and still be an asshole. Just like Tyler Durden says in Fight Club:
You are not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your f^*king khakis.
You know, you are not your asanas, even if you can do a bunch of really challenging ones. If you can do some crazy circus tricks, by all means, take pictures of it. Just make sure you’re enjoying yourself and smiling.
Real
If yoga pictures really reflected what we looked like practicing, getting people to come to class might be a much rougher sell:
In Kovalum, Kerala. This is real yoga in India.
And that’s because yoga is hard. You usually don’t look like a magazine cover during a real practice. You look like this:
My face isn’t as happy looking as Kino’s.
And you only realize it when someone takes a picture of you while you arepracticing:
Me: “Wait, I’m IN this picture?”
So here’s my REAL checklist for taking yoga pictures:
1) Pick a pose you know how to do correctly and are comfortable teaching in class.
2) Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable.
3) Smile!
And whatever you do, stay away from this:
Naked Yoga with Chimpanzees: one more thing I never would have thought existed.
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